There comes a time here at Mary Washington when students with lofted beds must bring the regular bed frames up from the basement. That time came on Wednesday night for my two friends Ben and Chris. Because Chris was adamant about not taking his loft down until we move out in about a week and there was nowhere else they can put the bed frame, the two guys decided to bunk the bed frame on top of Ben's bed.
It was easier said than done.
After making our way down to the basement to retrieve the bed frame, Ben and I went on one of our cleaning rampages on the frame, scrubbing and dusting until the metal was gleaming. Chris just watched, noting how much he loved that two other people were cleaning his bed. Once everything was ready, we moved the 3 pieces of the bed frame into the room and tried to figure out the best way to bunk the beds. Ben and Chris tried to connect the head and foot boards first. One fit after some elbow grease, the other appeared not to fit. I, realizing how hilarious this was going to turn out, ran to my room and retrieved my camera.
As you can see, the board that fits is on. The guys decided they'd attach the large piece to the foot board and then put the headboard on. It seemed simple at the time. After snapping this picture I went over to help, holding the foot board steady while the Big Strong Men hooked on the larger piece. This however proved to be difficult, and because Ben did not want the bed frame touching his nice clean bed, they tried for a different approach.
In this photo, Ben is trapped. Notice the semi-frightened look on his face, and the horrendous red-eye even though my camera's red-eye reduction was on. That's what happens when you have blue eyes. Anyway, I think they were attempting to get the spring part and the foot board together again. Chris, taking charge like he usually does even when he's totally wrong, tried to turn the spring part without realizing he had pinned his roommate against the wall. Nice going, Chris.
However, trouble began. Just when it seemed that the guys had attached the two pieces, the foot board fell to the floor with an outstanding amount of noise that was probably heard throughout the entire dorm. I'm pretty sure at least the floor below us thought the building was imploding. Both guys cursed and yelled to the heavens, while I laughed hysterically and took pictures. It must also be mentioned that the poor wall between the sink and the closets was beat up pretty badly.
Chris tried to fix the foot board, leaving Ben to hold up the springs. As this picture demonstrates, Ben has the muscle mass of a string bean. Before I rushed to his aid, I took this picture, laughing my ass off. This is also a great photo of Ben's armpit.
Chris had another plan and decided that the best way to go about things was to put the bed together before bunking it onto Ben's bed. Sounds pretty good, huh? I was not much help because of my ovaries, so EMT Anthony was called in. Actually, he came in primarily because of all the crashes and cursing he heard from his room two doors down. But regardless, the fact that Anthony was wearing his EMT shirt is priceless and makes for great photography.
The bed is now together and joy is had by all. But is the mayhem over with? Hell no! This here is my favorite picture ever. I entitle it "Push No Evil, Lift No Evil, Pull No Evil." Ben at this point is yelling "I'M STUCK!" He is pinned to the wall, which in itself is a feat seeing as to how
scrawny he is. Ben made a valiant escape attempt while nearly smashing Anthony under the spring, and Chris made faces at me because the bed was so damn heavy. Upon reviewing this picture, I believe the "Things You Should Know About Chuck Norris" poster visible in the background makes a nice touch.
With one end connected and ready to go, there was only one end of the bed that needed to be connected. However, it appeared that the bed was longer than Ben's bed. So Ben used his Legs That Go On For Days(tm) to try and make the beds fit. I also got to help on this one, holding the foot board so it didn't fall on Ben's head. Of course, I still managed to snap a bird's eye view picture.
When everything seemed to fail, it was decided that Ben had to sleep in this position for the remainder of the semester. Ben understandably raised much hell, partially because of his OCD and he can't stand for things to be lopsided, and after a short break (for the rest of us anyway, Ben was stuck laying like this) we tackled the problem again.
Alas, the boys figure out that there's a plastic piece on the bottom of the headboard (that I pointed out at the beginning of the chaos, and Chris ignored me or muttered something about how he couldn't get it out). They pop the pieces out, turn the bed around so that the headboard is now the footboard, and--golly gee willackers, Batman!--it snaps on with a little help from a hammer. After about 2 hours, the beds are finally bunked.
This is a picture of my guys, happy that the chaos is over and sweating heavily. From left to right: Anthony, Ben, and Chris.
