Good News, Bad News

Good News: I graduate in about a month.

Bad News: WTF am I going to do after that?  I have to go out and be a real person now.  I’m not sure I can handle that.

Good News: Finished my thesis.

Bad News: My advisor hates it.  My meeting with him on Friday may end in tears for me.  Dread central.

Good News: Things with Potential Love Interest appear to be moving in the right direction.

Bad News: Suddenly everyone else has a crush on me, too.  Dammit you guys, why do you wait until there’s someone I’m interested in?  Seriously.

Good News/Bad News: Donovan McNabb was traded to my beloved Redskins.  Seriously, WTF.  I spent years hating this guy, and now I’ll be rooting for him.  I was pissed for a while, but after watching McNabb’s press conference yesterday, I feel much better about the situation.  I think we may start looking like a team instead of perplexed five-year-olds.  Who knows though; the Redskins never fail at being the Offseason Champions, so we’ll have to see what happens in the fall.

Good News: Summer seems to have arrived.  It’s 90 degrees outside.  It’s also April 7.  WHAT.

Bad News: I’ve had a fever yesterday and part of today, so I haven’t even been able to enjoy it.

Good News: Have weened myself off of caffeine, so I can actually function without coffee or Pepsi.

Bad News: I am now addicted to Gatorade, which probably isn’t much better.

Good News: REC 2 is out somewhere.  I need to hunt it down and watch it.  The first REC is easily one of my favorite horror movies ever.

Bad News: Watched Paranormal Activity.  Did people really find it that scary?  All I got out of it was a lot of time watching people sleeping, listening to a woman drop f-bombs on her dumbass boyfriend who keeps saying “dude,” listening to random banging that was probably supposed to make me jump, and failing to feel any sympathy for the absolutely stupid and arrogant assholes who were the main characters.  TL;DR Very underwhelming for all the hype that surrounded it.

Good News: Started getting frighteningly good at Modern Warfare 2 multiplayer.  Like, my kill-death ratio was actually going positive.  Once I had the most kills on my team.  WHAT.

Bad News: Now all I want to do is play MW2.

Good News: I’ll probably be keeping the rats after graduation.  SWEET.

Bad News: It would be sweeter if I had a job and a place to live.

Good News: Looking into freelance writing and blogging as a career option.  It sounds like something I would absolutely love doing.

Bad News: I have to look at options like that because there’s absolutely nothing out there for history majors.  Worst major ever.  I should’ve stuck to something practical instead of something I just “liked.”

Good News: I’ve made some new friends.

Bad News: One of said “friends” is my ex’s new girlfriend.  I’m pretty sure she’s trying to validate that she is the better option for him.  She’s probably also threatened because he still talks to me and IMs me a lot.  I always try to blow him off, because A) half the shit he says is ridiculous conspiracy theory bullshit, and B) I stopped caring about him quite a while ago.  She should be concerned with him, not me.  Potential Love Interest >>>> Conspiracy Theorist Ex.

So yeah, that’s my life in a nutshell right now.  Pretty average, yet aggravating.  Growing up sucks, I’m going back to 3rd grade.

OKCupid.com: An Experiment in Hilarity

Why oh why do I listen to dares?  This time it has landed me into OKCupid.com, one of those online dating sites.  While I have met one guy who seems somewhat cool (I’m not going to say anything about him, though, because 1. he’s a cool kid, 2. he has since deleted his OKC profile and we talk on AIM now so he doesn’t count anymore, and 3. there’s nothing to make fun of about him), the vast majority of dudes I’ve run into have been a bit weird.

Literally 30 minutes after I signed up, some guy IMed me.  He was quite odd.  He seemed cool at first, he lives in Fred Vegas, Redskins fan, personal trainer…but after a while the constant “watre u doing” got really annoying and creepy.  I wish I were joking.  I am glad he seemed to get the hint I was no longer interested and stopped contacting me the next day.

Next guy has family in Greece.  I should mention that on my profile I talk about how ancient Greece is my focus in my history degree.  For some reason, people with Greek heritage think I will throw myself at them because of that simple fact.  No.  Also, that was pretty much the only thing I had in common with this kid.  Plus he started getting creepy.  That was the end of that.

Next Greek guy was actually from Greece.  I saved his message for future giggles.  The subject line is, “DiD YOU EVER COME GREECE?”  Instant lulz.  The actual message reads, “HELLO,I AM [deleted] FROM ATHENS.DO YOU EVER VISIT GREECE?”  This guy is also 46. I didn’t even reply.

After that comes Strange Broken Hearted Guy.  This is his message: “Hello.. I hope I'm not bothering u at this time.. My name is [deleted] and after looking at your profile.. It would be an honor to chat with you sometime.. I'm 22 and I'm an aspiring artist. I like games (board, card, video, and sports of course lol) I've had much bad experiences with women and I think I deserve someone sensible. So I hope you consider this note and reply as soon as you can. Take care :)”  Honestly, this doesn’t seem like a bad kid but you shouldn’t just come right out and mention your past relationship issues.  Or maybe that’s just something that bothers me.  Anyway.

Facepalm Guy 1: “I had to actually google your religious view lol "Agnosticism" very interesting but I totally get it.
What are the qualifications for being a nerd ?”  First of all, this has to be the only person I’ve ever met in my life that didn’t at least know the basic idea of agnosticism, and I’m including a couple of 12 year olds in that pool.  Secondly, if you have to ask about nerd qualifications, you are not one, sorry.

HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK Guy: I saw that this guy had viewed my profile one day, but I couldn’t tell what the hell was going on in his profile picture.  So I looked at his profile, and lo and behold, it’s a 45 year old guy wearing a banana hammock, a collar and a leash.  Then he imed me.  I panicked and not only closed Firefox, but shut down my entire computer.  Just……no.

Facepalm Guy 2: (Sidenote: I mention my hydrophobia somewhere on my profile just for lulz) “are you seriously afraid of water? Out of everything there is you are afraid of water? or is it just large bodies of water...”  After I stopped laughing, I had to reply to this guy.  As with my religious beliefs or lack thereof, I usually don’t have to explain it to people; it’s pretty obvious what I mean by it.  I love chugging water and soaking in bath tubs, I’m not going to run screaming in the other direction because someone’s holding a bottle of Aquafina.  I mean, honestly, guy.

Those are all the funny ones so far.  I have learned some shit about myself in the process, which I guess makes this a worthwhile experiment.  Firstly, I have some ridiculously high standards.  I mean, goddamn.  I seriously need to chill out.  It is next to impossible that I will find a guy who is like Thom Yorke, Joel Hodgson, and Eli Manning all wrapped up into one person.  Secondly, I have a severe aversion to replying to people unless I really have something to talk about with them.  I’m fine in real life, which is strange because you’d think talking over the Interwebs would be easier.  Not for this weirdo, apparently.  I suck.  Also, I should be less self-deprecating.  Actually, fuck that, it’s fun and I will never, ever be accused of having a huge ego.

So anyway.  I was totally going to delete this shit after a month or so but I’m receiving so much entertainment from it that I’ll hang around a little longer.  There doesn’t seem to be too many creepers on there, and the matching system seems pretty decent, so why the hell not?  Though I’m not really concerned about relationships at this point (especially because I’m preoccupied with graduating college and actually becoming an adult and shit) I figure what the hell, it’s there.  Hopefully I’ll get some more funny shit soon.

Mass Effect 2 Review: I Wish to Marry this Game

Anyone who knows me well knows I’m a total Mass Effect fangirl.  Like, seriously hardcore.  I own the soundtrack(s).  And actually listen to them.  I have serious issues.

My game arrived last Friday, just in time for a gaming weekend since both of my roomies were gone.  I finished it Tuesday.  About 36 hours of playtime, over 5 days.  When I realized this I cried a little bit, but wiped away my tears and vowed not to turn on my XBox until this weekend’s Snowpocalypse (seriously, we’re getting 2-4 inches of ice in addition to 20 inches of snow.  Virginia suddenly became Minnesota or something).

I don’t want to say Mass Effect 2 is better than the first, but I’m thinking it might be.  It’s definitely (and understandably) darker than the first, but I also found it much more humorous. The story feels a bit weaker than the first, but it’s sort of understandable because the player already knows about the goings on in the Milky Way, granted they played the first one.  There’s less to flesh out, so the story is more driven by the characters themselves. The characters are once again well developed and I found myself getting rather attached to my team.  It gives you more impetus to complete everything before your “suicide mission” in order to ensure everyone’s survival.

Upgrading is definitely different this time around.  You don’t have to worry about an inventory limit because you don’t have an inventory.  Instead, upgrades are received by doing missions, scanning planets for minerals and using said minerals to research new technologies.  I liked this system much better, if only because I spent an awful amount of time in ME1 sorting through my inventory.

Weapons are pretty badass.  My infiltrator owned with heavy weapons, but even the pistols aren’t too shabby.  Because I’m me, however, I mostly stuck to the Sniper and assault rifles.  I fucking love sniping, and the sniper upgrade is absolute love.  I do have one warning: for heavy weapons, be careful with the M-920 Cain.  Make sure you aim at enemies who are far, far away from you.  First time I tried it out I killed everyone, myself and my team included.

I really didn’t mind scanning planets for resources or side missions, but I know many people who absolutely despise it. The annoyance factor of planet exploration really depends on the player; instead of the Mako you scan planets, which I personally like because the Mako makes me so angry it’s not even funny.  The cursor is rather slow at first, but there is an upgrade that makes it faster.

The romance scene remains awkward and creepy.  My (male) Shepard hooked up with Tali.  It was bizarre.  It wasn’t explicit at all, even less so than the creeptastic romance scene in the first one, but there’s something really, really strange about it.  That’s all I’m going to say about it.

There were some graphical issues, but no game busting ones that I found.  Sometimes teammates would climb over an obstruction and suddenly be 20 feet above me.  Also, for some reason husks kept falling through the floor when they died and ended up just sticking out of the ground like daisies.  It was confusing, but my room mates and I lol’d pretty hard.  Otherwise the graphics definitely looked better than ME1, and it’s still an absolutely gorgeous game to look at.

Basically, I love this game.  I enjoyed every minute I played it, and my room mates enjoyed watching me play it (seriously, they gathered around like it was Project Runway). BioWare has never failed me yet, and I hope they never will.  I do recommend playing ME1 first, though, if only for the starting bonuses and to get a feel for the Mass Effect universe.  I definitely, definitely give this game an A.

Sims 3 - World Adventures EP

I broke down and bought the Sims 3 expansion pack, even I didn’t think it looked all that great and, as previously demonstrated, I’m not crazy about the base game.  However, I am the master of impulse buys and later deep regrets.  The deep regret of this purchase hasn’t quite hit, or at least not yet.

Basically, if you’ve played Sims 1 or 2 and know of Bon Voyage and Vacation/On Holiday, you know what to expect with World Adventures.  You can take your pixel dolls to China, France, or Egypt and immerse them into a very watered down version of the actual countries.  It would have been sweet if your sims had to learn the languages and were standing there holding a translation book mispronouncing everything with the sims who live there just stand there and laugh, but hey, I’m a history major, not a game designer.  Whilst there, the sims can go on these crazy adventures that lead them into tombs and such.  They can also steal precious artifacts so they won’t be taken care of properly and future generations will not understand past cultures and humans and therefore will be doomed to make similar mistakes or just being rock stupid in general.  /historymajor

I actually found these little quests quite fucking tedious.  Maybe I’m just lazy (80% possibility), but it’s not like Fallout 3 or Borderlands where you just point the analogue stick/mouse while holding down WASD to get through one area.  You have to click around each maze to keep the sims from killing themselves.

Like Jimbob McGee here.  First time he was going through a tomb in China I was like, “Oh, he’s probably smart enough not to walk through fucking fire.”  When the Grim Reaper showed up to take away the now toasty Jimbob, I realized I was putting too much faith in the programming.  Sorry, Jimbob.  Again though, tons of clicking.  And if you want more than one person to go through a tomb, expect even more.
The visa system is an interesting new twist, though.  All sims start off with a level 1 visa for each location, and must acquire points through adventuring in order to gain a higher visa level.  On visa level 1, they can only spend three days on location before getting booted into a loading screen regardless of what they were previously doing.  Because I’ve been playing an epic amount of Red Faction:Guerrilla and I’m now back at school, I haven’t managed to get anyone past level 1 yet.  I’m also not trying very hard, so there’s that.

Sims can also enjoy the new hobbies photography and martial arts.  Martial arts is hilarious because they start off fighting with the sissiest half-hearted slapping you’ve ever seen.  Photography is sort of silly because the challenges are pretty weird.  One of them is to take a picture of a tissue box.  Yeah.

With every expansion, of course, there’s new shit to pimp your sims out with.  Such as this hairstyle, and this eyeliner that looks like an earthquake hit in the middle of the application process.

 
Seriously, what the fuck.

There isn’t a ton of new shit, which is understandable given that there are basically 3 more neighborhoods instead.  In general, it’s a few new Create-A-Sim shit like hair and clothing (men are once again largely overlooked unless you want like 12 new hats), as well as some nice Chinese, French, and Egyptian styled furniture and decor.  There’s also a totally bitching moped that made me giggle furiously.  Other than that, gameplay back in the normal neighborhood is pretty much untouched.

Of course, because this is EAxis we’re talking about, there’s some pretty gnarly bugs in this expansion.  The biggest one is the fact that the launcher refuses to install a bunch of custom content, even if it’s content from the Sims Store.  That’s right, if you were willing to pay money for some little pixel furniture, guess what?  You can’t even use it unless you use some insane fix that involves converting files or sacrificing to Odin or something ludicrous.  Great job, EAxis!  Further, I personally have had weird shit like sims not going to school or work and therefore performance slips to ridiculously bad levels, an issue that I’ve only been able to solve by using the Awesomemod’s “backtowork” command at 9 AM, 3 PM, and 8 PM.  That or just letting everyone fail and then sitting back and laughing, but usually I actually want to play the game as they meant for it to be played.  Another weird glitch is that sometimes inventory objects will just vanish.  Shit sucks if it’s an adventuring item that you need in order to get more visa points.  I never thought I would ever actually say “FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU…” in real life, but I did that day.

Honestly I don’t understand EAxis’ bug fixing policy.  Some of the issues people have been having have been around since the base game.  Half the bugs EAxis doesn’t fix are fixed by fan-made mods like the Awesomemod.  I understand the economy sucks and they may not want to hire a whole bunch of testers, but if some regular guy can fix this shit for free and do it within a couple of days, what’s EAxis doing?
I feel like I rant about EAxis every time, but sweet Jesus, I don’t think I’ve ever played a game this buggy that doesn’t get a patch within a few days.  Hell, wasn’t Modern Warfare 2 patched like the day after it was released because there were issues with multiplayer?  Infinity Ward, go help EAxis or something.  Damn.

Anyway.  It’s hard for me to recommend this expansion pack, but I feel like that’s probably because of who I am.  Currently I’m having a ton of fun beating dudes with a sledgehammer in Red Faction.  World Adventures, by comparison, is kinda boring.  If you enjoyed the other “journey to another land” expansion packs of Sims 1 and 2, you’ll probably enjoy this one.  It’s a good expansion, but I wouldn’t have used it as the first one.  I think they should’ve done something like Nightlife/Hot Date and mix up everyday gameplay a bit.  Again though, I study ancient Greece so my opinion is moot, really.

Final verdict: meh.  Hold your money until a patch is released.

Ah fuck.

Eye strain. Fuck.

Yeah, and I'm blogging. It's seriously from my laptop though. I was reading that monitor refresh rates below 70 Hertz or so causes a lot of eye strain. So I'm like, oh great, I'll just change it to 70 or 75 or something. BUT NO. My laptop does not allow me to change it to anything other than 60. FFFFFFFFUUUU... Hence, I am on my desktop with my 75 Hertz of refreshment. I hadn't booted this shit up in a good 3 weeks, and I forgot how awesome desktops are. It's over 3 yrs old now, but good ol' Spartacus has done well. Other than sometimes refusing to communicate with the monitor properly, but even then it will reboot itself and start functioning again. I know, weird.

I know there's got to be a way to tweak my refresh rate on the laptop. The problem is, I really don't want to fuck it up. It's already been through some shit (HP's shitty hard drive exploding randomly one day. I'd only had it for 2 months, too). Plus that's $1200 of beastly hardware and if I somehow screw it up (which is inevitable if I try something like this) I will probably cry a bit.

Also, I'm sick. Not swine flu though, which is always a plus. It's a head cold, basically. Actually it's starting to feel like a sinus infection. Lovely, but I'll take it over any flu variant anyday. My head sort of feels like a balloon right now.

I'm also keeping track on Ghost Adventures Live. My mom always watches shit like this because she's a sci-fi nerd like that, and passed along that trait to her kids. One of my roommates and I were watching one of the episodes before the live one, and basically just making fun of it. Not because we're skeptics, but because the guys on the show are such bros. Seriously, they are just a few popped collars away from true bro-dom. We are now going to call each other "bro" all the time, and utilize phrases such as "Dude, bro...." "Oh, bro...dude..." "BRO...DUDE, BRO!" Excellent.

I love how my parents still hone in on every health issue of mine. I can't really blame them, with all the shit that happened a few years ago, but the amazing speed at which they respond to Facebook status changes is legendary.

Speaking of which, I've never really understood why some people are so afraid of their parents on Facebook. I think it's a combination of 1) my mom's fuckin cool and wouldn't really give a shit, 2) my sisters and I don't do anything that would be embarrassing, 3) I don't have to worry about friends putting up anything stupid. I just don't do stupid shit. Hell, I can't get drunk for medical reasons (1 oz. of wine every week really doesn't do anything, lol), and it's not like I'm sleeping around with tons of dudes. There's really nothing I need to keep secret from my parents. And hell, a good chunk of my family is on Facebook as well. Again though, I think it's just the situation I'm in. I'm sure if I were in someone else's shoes I'd feel much differently.

Sleepytime tea fuckin rules, too. Just throwing that out there.

So I found this website, King.com, through StumbleUpon (which is my new addiction, BTW). I don't know if it was intentional, but if you say "king-dot-com" out loud it sort of sounds like "kingdom come." This is the sort of thing I figure out when I can't sleep at 3 AM. Anyway, it's actually pretty shitty, but oddly addictive. As a free member you pretty much are just doomed to mediocrity, because they only let you play a few levels/minutes of each game, therefore there's only so many points you can get. Excellent strategy though: have addicting games like BeJeweled, give incentives to play such as "building a castle" and "earning jewels," tell people they have to pay for moar awsum features, ????, PROFIT!!! I refuse to give in, though, because I'm already paying $50 a year for XBox Live and that's way cooler.

My other roommate is on a night hike. My maternal instincts are freaking. Especially because there are only four people, apparently. I am not okay with this. I probably won't be able to sleep until she gets back.

I am still highly confused about Adam Lambert. Do people really freak out over him? I don't know anyone who actually knows who he is. The few friends who do watch American Idol are like, "which one is he?" Then I go online and see all these women going apeshit over him. I do not understand. He's not bad, but he seriously sounds like a million other artists out there. And he has a ridiculous album cover that reminds me of the Lisa Frank backpack I had in Kindergarten. It had baby seals on it, along with rainbows and stars and other Lisa Frank goodness. I digress. His "glam" also fails pretty hard. He should get lessons from Dir En Grey or one of those other Japanese visual kei bands. That right there is some serious modern glam. The lead singer of Dir en Grey also mutilates himself onstage, and I can't decide whether that's fucking awesome or fucking worrisome. Adam can leave that aspect to him.

But seriously, it's like there's an entirely different world out there of pop stars and actors and whatever, along with their rabid fanbases. Actually, now that I've mentioned Adam Lambert, I wonder if some random fan is going to come here. Then again, why the fuck would they, because like, this is a clearly insignificant blog and probably more of a waste of bandwidth than a lot of things. YET I KEEP TYPING.

Also, I have gotten so many messages about the Sims 3 blog post I did in June. This is another thing I don't understand. How are these people finding my blog? Why are they all Sims 3 fans? Honestly I forget the game even exists sometimes. Pretty sure I haven't played it since July at the latest. Console gaming is just way more fun. I like talking to and playing with my friends. And I've become an achievements whore. Maybe Sims 3 people are looking for stuff on the expansion that's supposed to come out and looks sort of lame. No seriously, I used to get so fucking excited about Sims expansion packs, but now it just feels like they're pumping out the same shit. What is this one, "World Adventures" or something like that? I liked it better when it was called Bon Voyage/Vacation. I'm sure there's something that differentiates it from the other two but I still just can't get excited over it. They should've made a Nightlife/Hot Date type expansion instead. I'd much rather they give you more options in the current neighborhood.

Odd as it sounds, I think I'm going to do some homework. I AM THAT BORED. And hell, might as well utilize this time.

Show Choir: Part of a Series on Bad Ideas

No, I'm not in a show choir. And if I had any desire to be in one, it would have died quickly tonight.

It's Family Weekend here, which means a bunch of performances and exhibitions of "OH LOOK, WE'RE TOTALLY NOT WASTING YOUR MONEY." My roomie from last year and another friend of ours are in orchestra and jazz band, respectively, and both were part of the big musical shindig tonight. I always go to these things because I am a former band geek, I support my friends, and I enjoy live music and I've never seen a bad concert from these guys. So I call up some more of our friends and we get ready to go.

"You realize that between the two, you'll have to sit through show choir, right?" I was told as we headed out into the rain.

A bit of background here: Last year, near the beginning of the term and when my roomie and I were still somewhat awkward around each other, she came in totally ROFL (she was actually on the floor at one point) about show choir. Whatever event she had gone to, she had experienced show choir and it was totally horrendous. According to eyewitness reports the men had on bright blue sparkly shirts and were trying to act ridiculously cool. Roomie and her friend had made the mistake of sitting in the front row and had to hide their faces in their programs because they were laughing so hard.

This year they're supposedly better than the trainwreck last year, but seeing how bad they were tonight I can't imagine it being worse. There were no bright blue sparkly shirts, which was thoroughly disappointing. The ladies had on shirts that had a bit of sequin action around the collar, but nothing completely absurd. The men were boring and just wearing all black. Wardrobe aside, the singing and dancing was absolutely god-awful.

First they did "I Believe" from Spring Awakening. The program said the song was written by Duncan Sheik and as a result I have "Barely Breathing" stuck in my head. Spring Awakening is actually supposed to be a pretty good show, but you wouldn't know it from this performance. It began with them just walking out, but doing what I call the Dance Walk where you step toe-first instead of heel-first. This went on for an entire minute. Then they stood there, with some people in the front sitting down and totally rocking some arm-shelves. Then a jazz box. Then some rainbow arm movements. What I'm getting at is that visually they might as well have just sat the fuck down because watching them wander around seemingly aimlessly was not doing it for me. It would have been nice if, since the dance aspect wasn't there, the singing was good, but it was not. The ladies weren't too bad, and only had a few times when they sounded off. The men, however, were a hot mess. I kept wishing they'd find a key and stick to it, because it sounded like a bunch of cows in a field. But the key was never found, to my bemusement. Finally the song was over, which was good because my ribs were aching already.

Next, "Sing, Sing, Sing." They tried to do swing moves. I was sitting with other swing kids. We cried together. It was an affront to all that is swing. Swing is supposed to be goofy, I know, but goddamn there's a difference between hamming it up and throwing away your dignity. Fuck, you guys. I cut them a bit of slack on the singing, seeing as to how they actually were moving in this song. They of course sounded winded and were dropping out all over the place, which I sort of expect, but you would think that with practice they'd get a bit more used to it. Again, I was too dismayed at the dancing to really pay attention to the singing.

Finally, "I Move On" from Chicago. Oddly enough I've never seen Chicago, and I've done two routines to music from it. Probably should fix that at some point. Anyway, the solo girl was clearly the glue that held this whole thing together. She was this tiny little black girl that had a surprisingly good voice. It was clear why she got the solo. However, some guy also got a solo, but it took me quite some time to figure out who the fuck was singing, since he wasn't prominently displayed like she was. Bad choreography, I think. He sounded like shit compared to her. The dancing was still terrible, so I started looking at the individual performers.

There were a few people who were seriously fucking into it, and then others who looked like they lost a bet and as a result had to join show choir. There was this really tall girl who already stood out, but insisted on making her moves really fucking huge. Close to her was this really short guy who looked like a creeper and threw his whole body into the routine like it was a life or death situation. Looking totally bored was a really tall, lanky black guy, and several brunette girls. Oddly enough, most of the people who were really into it were guys. You'd think that they'd be really concerned about their masculinity with something like this, because there is no way you can look cool doing this shit. I respect that they are comfortable with themselves enough to do this, because I am not.

I half expected some of the older people in the audience to enjoy some cheesy shit like this. However, the group of parents in front of me were laughing as hard as I was. Looking around I saw a healthy mixture of facial expressions: bemused confusion, straight up confusion, incredulous, horrified, totally bemused, laughter, and blank stares. I have never experienced that in any audience before. So I didn't feel so bad giggling uncontrollably, but I still tried to suppress it, just out of respect.

This being my first experience with a show choir of any sort, I had no idea what I was about to watch. I really cannot believe how haughty and arrogant they sounded after the show when we were waiting for our friends to meet up with us. I don't think it's possible to look good while doing that shit. Hell, in swing we know we look retarded and don't even try to pretend that shit is cool. And for the first time ever I honestly have to say that someone else is worse than us. Show choir is just a terrible idea in general. It's awkward to take songs that belong in the context of a full-blown theater show and just throwing in some random choreography. It's also pretty clear that the majority of these people are not dancers, and a good many aren't doing so great as singers either. Putting all of it together, it's only entertaining to the audience for all the wrong reasons.

Random thoughts that I have, and thinking doesn't occur too often for me.

• Writing a screening report for the film "Double Indemnity." Good movie, but I had to watch it about 4 times just now to analyze the mise en scene, cinematography, editing, etc. for my film studies course. Fun class because my friends Tommy, Brian and I just sit in a row and MST3K everything. I am Tom Servo, albeit less red and my head isn't transparent. But it does take the fun out of film watching, because I was watching Kill Bill this weekend and I was like, "HOLY SHIT MEDIUM CLOSE UP REVERSE SHOT."
• Chris Sligh's blog post that people are losing their shit about right now is totally the truth and people just want to see everything with rose-colored lenses. Unfortunately, the world sucks and when you accept that fact things seem easier. What I'm trying to say is, if you're offended by anything that he says you should probably just kill yourself.
• Fuck. I've spent too much time on the Internet. Don't kill yourself. However, do feel free to sit down and shut the fuck up, or at least read the entire thing and understand it before you launch into a half-informed fury.
• The dance we are doing for my modern dance class is fucking ridiculous. It's set to Owl City's "Fireflies," which is a totally shitty yet fucking addictive song (I've listened to it way more than I'd like to admit). At one point I have to pick another girl up and swing her around. I'm glad I worked out this summer and thus have some upper body strength, otherwise it'd be bad for her. We also have to run around with our arms stretched out like we're catching fireflies. I feel so retarded.
• In other dance news, swing dance is fucking retarded too. I'm the treasurer this year, but it's shitty when no one else does what they need to so I can beg for money from the school for it. The president wants a budget tomorrow but no one else has given me figures, which they were supposed to give me by Saturday. Thanks, guys. Also, the president is pissing me off, from general disorganization and fucktardery. I mean, she acts like the newbies are in kindergarten and can barely walk. Basic swing dancing is not fucking hard, I taught my dance-retarded roommate swing in about 45 minutes and my bitch looks pro (not really, but still pretty fucking good.) Yet the prez goes through about 3 dance moves in each hour-long lesson and the kids get fucking bored. I'm doubly bored because I've been doing this shit for 3-4 years. And they've all got the moves down, it's just that the prez has no fucking idea what she's doing. I've brought this up to her, and she gave me some half-ass answer. I figure I'm the treasurer so I should focus on money-grabbing/managing and just let the shit fly, but if she doesn't pick up the pace people aren't going to stick around long.
• We got pet rats for our apartment. BITCHES ARE CRAZY. Mine is fucking out of control. She must see everything up close, and learn what it is and if she can eat it. We let them out last night, and while her two sisters wandered around but stayed close to the cage and us, she was all over the living room. I do not know what is wrong with her, but I guess that's a rat for you. I'm so used to reptiles (I haven't had a mammal as a pet since I was six) that I'm like "WHAT IS THIS WARM BLOODED CONTRAPTION WITH FUR?" I really do prefer my reptiles, I have learned that about myself.
• I've also learned that I am a total fucktard. I mean, I had my suspicions before, but now it's just fact. I seriously just do shit that screws myself over all the fucking time. And I never hurt anyone else, because if anyone else is involved it'll be done right. If it's just me, I will fuck myself over. I think I have deeprooted loathing of myself.
• I walked to my Medieval Europe class listening to "Flashdance" the other day. Felt so badass, yet really fucking strange. "What a FEEEELIIINNG...to talk about the Lombard laws!"
• There's a new place in downtown called University Cafe that's sort of an offcampus dining place for students. The first time I walked in I was like, "HOLY SHIT THEY'RE PLAYING RADIOHEAD!" Radiohead played the entire time I was there. I was so fucking happy. A+++ will dine again.
• I think I've just consumed half my body weight in M&Ms. Wait that'd be like 60 pounds of chocolate. Okay, no.
• Speaking of my weight, I lost 10 pounds this summer due to switching my medication. Shitsux because I don't really have that much weight to begin with, and now a good bit of my clothing doesn't fit anymore. Fuck. And I've probably lost more because I haven't weighed myself in a while, and I eat considerably less when I'm at college than at home. I don't look anorexic but I am apparently noticeably thinner. FFFFFFUUUUU...
• I hate being a Redskins fan. Why am I such a diehard fan/masochist? Bitches suck right now.
• And I really, really need to go to bed. My eyes are starting to cross.
  

Senior Year Already?

Fuck this shit.

Seriously, I feel like I should still be a sophomore. What the fuck, where did my life go, Mary Wash? I just turned 21, and I cannot believe it.

With the economy like it is, I'm probably fucking screwed out of a job, or one that's any good. FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUU...

Anyway.

It's the second week of senior year (ugggghhh). It shouldn't be a lot of work, which is good. I just have a shitton of papers to write. It's what I get for being a history major. No labs or equations to memorize, just tons of writing and reading. I don't mind it too much, depending on the topic.

I'm also in an apartment this year. It's a complex owned by the school, so I just pay standard room and board. My roomie from last year and our friends live across the hall from me, and it's really nice. I'm happy with my roommates, even if they 'sploded the dishwasher.

No seriously, second night here, we had just cooked a meal and were starting to clean up. I have my Film Studies class at 6, so I was heading out of the door. I saw Leila putting stuff in the dishwasher, and I fleetingly thought about the fact that we didn't have detergent for the dishwasher, but it didn't really register in my mind until the damage was done. So I come back to a kitchen full of suds and water.

"What the fuck. Did you guys put dish soap in there?" I asked.

"...Oh, you're not supposed to?" Leila replied.

I literally facepalmed.

"Oh fuck, that didn't even register that she put it in there," Kristen moaned.

So basically, we all failed hard that evening. Kristen and I failed twice, because not only did our brains not catch the impending doom, but we later suggested, "Let's run it again and clear out the soap!"

THIS DOES NOT WORK.

It's great though, because if I'm going to fail, I want to fail so gloriously that I win. And we totally achieved that, according to my main dudes Chris and Matt. So shit, I'm happy. We learned an important lesson and definitely won the Fail of the Month award. Possibly Fail of the Year.

The apartment is sweet though. I will have to post pictures one day. For some reason ours is much, much nicer than some that my other friends live in. It's really odd, and you really wouldn't think that they'd all be so much different. For instance, our living room, bedrooms, and kitchen are way bigger than all the other ones I've been in. Considering the fact that Kristen and I just chose something random and close to my old roomie, that's fucking luck.

School is otherwise fine. The workload doesn't seem like it will be too bad. I'm sad that my academic building is renovated, so I get to spend my senior year classes in the old health center, the drama building, and a trailer. Then again, the building was the oldest on campus (which makes it 101 years old), and when you walked through the halls it felt like you were about to crash through. Also it still had asbestos. So maybe this is a good thing, but still, I loved my historical history building. Bitches.

All in all, I think this will be a good year.

Double Review: Prototype and The Room Rifftrax

Prototype

If this game were a man, I'd marry him and bear him at least 3 children. He's only mildly attractive but when you get into him you're like OH HOLY SHIT.

What I mean by that is, the graphics aren't that great, but the gameplay makes up for it and more. You play as Alex Mercer, who wakes up on a morgue slab just as he's about to get autopsied. He has no memory of who he is or what happened to him, so you're figuring this out as the game goes on. Also, Manhattan is being overrun with a virus that is turning people into zombies. FUCK YES ZOMBIES. Also you have a shitton of kickass powers. You can shoot a blade tipped tendril out of your arm (or shoot a whole bunch out and destroy everything within radius of you), run up fucking buildings, glide through the air like a sugarglider, consume people and become them whilst gaining their knowledge and energy, and TURN YOUR WHOLE FUCKING ARM INTO A GIANT DOUBLE-EDGED BLADE. HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS?!

I'm only about halfway through right now, because A) I like having a life, and B) shit is fucking hard at some parts. Seriously, there have been times when I just have to turn off the Ecks Bawks and meditate so I don't explode. Even though you have all these kickass powers, each enemy has a different weakness, so you're constantly changing which power/move to use depending on what you're fighting. Also, you're often fighting both the (virus) infected and the military, sometimes simultaneously. Because of this I normally use a hit and run tactic like the chickenshit I am. Jump from a high area, kill some dudes, then run away and let my health regen/consume bitches. It's how I roll.

Seriously, a kickass game. There are some people who bawl about it not looking great or being too similar to other games or not having a deep storyline, but they can go fuck themselves. I game to fuckin' destroy shit, not to get Schindler's List in high-quality game format.


The Room (2003) + the Rifftrax of it

Oh hi, Danny. I'd heard someone mention The Room about a year ago, but I never thought to look it up until about 2 months ago. Sweet Jesus. This movie may be worse than Manos: The Hands of Fate and Plan 9 From Outer Space. Seriously. The writing is atrocious, the acting is stroke-inducing, and you can FEEL the incompetence surging through your screen as you watch it. It garnered MST3K + Rocky Horror midnight viewings in which people throw spoons whenever the mindboggling framed picture of a spoon appears on screen, shout "FOCUS" when the film goes out of focus (and this happens quite frequently), reenact scenes at the front of the theater in costume, and fake walking out of the movie. I really need to attend one of these.

The plot...is nonsensical. The main plot appears to be a San Francisico-set love triangle between Johnny (Tommy Wiseau), a banker of indeterminate foreign origin (I think it's Latin Amerifrenchkoreansomalian), his future wife (NOT FIANCE) Lisa (Juliette Danielle), who is BEAUTIFUL (not), and Mark (Greg Sestero), who we know through at least 3000 lines of dialogue is Johnny's best friend. Then we have Lisa's mother, who comes in for 3 minute visits, introduces a whole slew of possible subplots that never get mentioned again (Lisa's mom: "I got the test results back today. I DEFINITELY have breast cancer." Lisa: "Don't worry about it. They're curing stuff like that every day.") There is also Johnny and Lisa's college-aged neighbor/surrogate son Danny, who seems like he's supposed to be slightly mentally challenged but no one ever says so, and who for five minutes is a drug dealer. Oh, and he has a crush on Lisa for the first half of the movie then just gets over it, I guess. There are also some other characters who do absolutely nothing and do not further the plot at all. Other than the main characters, I mean.

There are so many notable, shitastic things in this movie I don't even know where to begin. It's clearly not much more than Wiseau (who, as well as starring, directed and wrote this shit) masturbating over himself. The way he protrays his character as an innocent victim leads me and pretty much everyone else to believe that this is autobiographical. I'd love to know what this real life woman thinks now, if she does exist. The best part of it all is that he clearly made it to be a completely serious drama. When he found out that people were laughing at it, he did a 180 and claimed that it was intentional, and that the film was meant to be a black comedy. And thus thousands of Bullshit Detectors sounded.

From the games of football, which consist of tossing a football back and forth whilst standing 3 feet from each other, the laughable dialogue including "YOU AH TEARING ME APAAAAAHT, LISAAA" and "It feels like I'm sitting on an atom bomb that is going to explode," and the characters that come from fucking nowhere, this film is unintentionally a masterpiece. I'd heard that you should first watch this movie with others, but I watched it by myself when I was sick and STILL had a blast. I laughed so hard I vomitted.

The worst thing about this movie are the sex scenes. There are 3 in the first half hour. Now you may be thinking, "FUCK YES, SEX!" but I assure you, watching these scenes will make you wish your genitalia would cease to function. There is NOTHING remotely sexy about any of it. And the shitty softcore R&B music just makes it all even more vomit inducing. I don't want to think about it anymore.

So, the Rifftrax. I was super stoked when I saw on Bill Corbett's facebook that they were doing this movie. And in my very biased opinion, they did a fucking superb job. The movie makes me laugh just by itself, but there were moments when I was literally crying with laughter with the Rifftrax. They completely nail Johnny's ridiculous accent and the constant "Oh hi, *insert character's name*" greetings. When Bill compares Lisa to "the bloated corpse of Britney Spears" I was immediately sold. The one thing I wasn't very fond of was that they do little sketches during the sex scenes so that they didn't have to try to riff that shit. I completely understand that, but the sketches aren't that great. The rest of the riffing is so good that this becomes a mootpoint, however.

So if you want to buy The Room, guess what! It's only $8.99 on Amazon (or free if you're a pirate)! Then buy the accompanying Rifftrax for $3.99. If you're not convinced of the sheer greatest of this shit, here is some YouTubage.

The Most TMI Post You'll Ever See From Me.

No seriously.

If you're a guy, you probably don't want to read about this. Actually, some chicks may want to avoid this post too.

I'm writing to throw in my outstanding review of the Diva Cup. It's a menstrual cup.

*Waits for people to get grossed out and stop reading*

I heard about it a few weeks ago from my roomie, who saw someone gloating about their DC on Ye Ole Book of Faces. We were like, "WTF" and immediately did intensive Internet research. The more we read about it and the glowing reviews, the more we both wanted them. I mean, eco-friendly, reusable, money saving, and AWESOME? It's like win molded into a cup.

So last week roomie got her dot and traversed 45 minutes to the nearest Whole Foods store (nearer to her home in Northern Virginia) to get hers. We oohed and ahhed. Roomie ran to the bathroom to try it out. 20 minutes later she came back looking rather bleak. "I got it in, but then I freaked out while pulling it out and IT FEELS LIKE I JUST GAVE BIRTH," she told me, curling up onto her bed in anguish. This did not dampen either of our spirits, and I went ahead and ordered mine, along with the Diva Wash, from southcoastshopping.com. Later, roomie was successful and there was much rejoicing.

Today, my DC came. I nearly ran to the post office in excitement, cursing Tampax and Always on the way. Back in my room I read through the directions with glee, giggling like a fool. When I was ready, I went into the bathroom and tried the folding technique in the handy instruction sheet. Except that MOTHERFUCKER, it hurt like a bitch. After nearly destroying my vagina I went back onto the Internets to get some better folding techniques. Success! The 7-fold is definitely doable, and my vagina isn't as angry at me. Best of all, that fucker popped right open with little turning.

So I'm quite pleased. The only thing that confuses me is why the DC has measuring lines on it. I really don't need to know how many ounces of old uterine wall comes out of me.

And there it is. My new love, the awesome Diva Cup. Oh, and you get a kickass lapel pin too. Like wtf that shit's badass.

Party central...not.

College parties. HOW I LOATHE THEM. Awful music, drunk people that I already don't like to begin with, sketchy houses. So I was glad that I had the opportunity to back out of the party I'd promised my roomie I'd go to. It was a kegger to help orphans in Honduras. I mean, I'm all about helping kids, but a fucking kegger? I just gave my roomie money, she's the club treasurer anyway, I mean goddamn. And she sent me a text that said the party got busted 5 minutes after she got there. Seriously, Fredericksburg po-po don't fuck around. Especially when you advertise your damn kegger on Facebook, you fucktards. I stayed in my dorm and watched Shawshank Redemption with Ben, which was much more fun for me. Morgan Freeman >>>>>>keggers.

Classes are going well so far. The only class that's really giving me trouble is my dance class, amazingly, and that's just because I'm not used to that style of dance. Ballroom, latin, swing? I got that shit in the bag. Flailing around on the floor to Justin Timberlake? My body hates me, especially my knees. Poor things, which are already bad to begin with, had huge fucking bruises on them last night like I'd been repeatedly beat in the kneecaps with hockey sticks. I'm probably going to have to start wrapping them or something, just so I can fucking walk the next day.

Friend Who Acts Weird and Seemingly Hates Everyone For No Apparent Reason (FWAWSHEFNAR) asked Christine and I to go downtown with her last weekend. We agreed, it had been ages since the three of us, who used to be quite close in freshman and sophmore years, had gotten together. The day started out fine with brunch, but as we went downtown she got weird again. Christine and I wanted to look in the bridal shop just for shits and giggles and she adamantly refused like Satan was in the window ready to take our measurements. The rest of the day she just got quieter and quieter. Christine and I kept what little conversation we had going, and chose what stores we went into because FWAWSHEFNAR didn't seem to care. I was like, "WTF, you arranged this, have some input." Of course, I didn't say this out loud because this inevitably would have been misconstrued.

When we got back to campus, she just said, "See you guys later" and walked back into her dorm. Christine and I had no idea what had just happened. Neither of us said or did anything wrong, at least not intentionally. Even as I sit here thinking about it I can't remember anything that would have upset her. Hell, Christine and I enjoyed ourselves. It was just weird and awkward. Again, it's weird things that I just can't deal with at this point in my life. There's something wrong, but until she's willing to stop bottling it up inside her and deal with what's bothering her, I can't do anything.

I feel like she creates a lot of drama in her mind that doesn't actually exist. For instance, she told Christine that she thought I hated her because she saw me on campus and all I said was "hi." LIEK WTF M8, I was going to fucking class. If I stopped and talked to everyone I wanted to I'd never actually get to class. If I hadn't had said anything at all, then I could see how she'd think something was up. But I acknowledge her and THAT'S weird?

But what can you do?

Other than that, social life is good. Got asked out a second time by Awkward Kid. He asked me out last semester, but me being a complete idiot, didn't realize that it was a serious date until the day of. Then I flipped a shit. I went anyway, but it was by far the strangest experience I've ever gone through. It was like a job interview. "What are your hobbies?" "What do your parents do?" "I saw on your Facebook..." There was no actual conversation, just Q&A. So when he asked me out this time, I was careful to construct a vague "no." It's a fun date horror story to tell to friends over a cup of coffee, but not something I'd want to go through again. If I can't hold a convo with you, it's not going to work, because I'm a chatty fucker.

So Valentine's Day will come and go. And who fucking cares, it's a stupid fakey holiday constructed by money-hungry fucktards at Hallmark. Fuck that shit. My ex boyfriend exchanged MST3K and the video game F.E.A.R. for VD. THAT'S how you rock that shit. Blowin' bitches' heads off and making fun of godawful movies. So fuck you Valentine's/Aw Fuck I'm Still Single Awareness Day. I'm out.

----------------
Now playing: Mute Math - Noticed

A break from finals.

Dear god, I need a break. It's only Monday and this week has already kicked my ass. After tomorrow things should be a lot better though. I will have had my final project for my Museums class done (I had to create a museum and all its inner workings, which is surprisingly fun), and my U.S. Labor History final out of the way. The Labor History one and my Greek one were the only ones that were actually exams, the rest are projects or papers. I guess it makes it rather nice, because I really hate studying.

I called my work this morning to ask them if I could come back to work when I get home. They sounded ecstatic to get me back, and relieved. I saw they had posted ads for hiring, so I figure they really need the help over the holidays. I could've worked over my Thanksgiving break, but I said to myself, "FUCK THAT." It was awful enough on Virginia's tax free day, I don't even want to know what that place looked like on Black Friday. So at least I know I'll be earning some cash over my break, which I desperately need.

After a few of my friends have had troubles with their ex boyfriends, I feel I need to thank my ex for being awesome about things. He's still one of my good, close friends, and he really showed maturity which he needs to teach a few other guys. I swear, sometimes guys create more drama than girls do.

I also think it's great that when I'm pissy, the only person I'm not angry at is my roommate and vice versa. It's like, "I HATE EVERYOOOONNNNEEEE. Except for you ! :D"

I actually physically hurt myself while playing Rock Band 2 last night. My friends and I created ourselves and our awesome band, BROWN THUNDER. We saw Disturbed's "Down With the Sickness" and just had to play that shit. If you haven't heard that song, go find it on last.fm or somewhere. At the beginning, the guy does all this really strange gutteral screaming, which as the lyrics say, "OOH AH AH AH AH....AWK AWK....AWK AWK." I did this quite accurately, but my throat still hurts. I need to work on my screamo yells.

Anyway. Break time is OVER. I've got to get this shit done and stop being a slacker kid.
----------------
Now playing: Astronautalis - The Wondersmith and His Sons

Oh, Mary Wash...

University of Mary Washington! My home! How I missed your leaf blowers at 8 in the morning! How I missed the maintenance trucks that creep along behind you when you're trying to go to class with your headphones on, and look behind you to suddenly realize HOLY SHIT THERE'S A TRUCK 2 FEET BEHIND YOUR ASS! How I missed the rabid squirrels that will sit on brick walls and make threatening noises at you, although a swift kick would kill them! How I missed the brick walkways that will trip you and totally wreck your shit if you're not careful!

Yeah, fuck that.

So my sweater is 99% done. I still have to weave in some yarn ends. But that's for a super special blog post, which will include my modified pattern. Fuck yes.

So I was on break. I had planned to do all this shit and get ahead in my classes, but I got home and said "FUCK THAT." I slept the entirety of the first day (I'm not even kidding), watched MST3K the entirety of the second day, and shopped the entirety of the third day. That third day was really productive though. I was probably the reason the economy did better that day.

Also, while I was home, I listened to entirely too much Jeff Buckley and The Who (200 and 169 plays, respectively). They teamed up and kicked Radiohead out of my number 1 on last.fm, when Radiohead was about 200 plays above both of them before break. Obsessive music listening. I am guilty.

I'm wearing a dress today and I realized why I never wear dresses. Because I can't sit in them. I mean, I can, but not in a ladylike manner. I usually sit with one leg tucked under me, and I can't do that in this dress. It's a good thing I'm wearing leggings because I'd be Lohaning everyone in my classes.

In preparation of the last debates tonight, Cracked.com had this article on what would make the debates more interesting. I, in my MST3K fantard biased opinion, think #2 should have totally won. But that's just me and my tardism. I want a Rifftrax and a Cinematic Titanic episode for the debates. Also, if I get back from swing dancing tonight in time, I may do a kooky live blogging thing for the debates. If I decide I care enough. And I don't forget its on. And I don't decide to go play Halo 3 instead.

Time for work that I totally neglected over break.

Random.

Today I feel random. I'm still sick, and the health center did absolutely nothing for me when I went yesterday. They were like "GOLLY GEE WILLACKERS, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE SICK!" No shit! I've only been coughing, sneezing, losing my voice, and headachey, I was sure I was just imagining things. Then my roomie and some of our friends were telling me horror stories of the health center. For instance, they told one girl she needed her tonsils removed. SHE DIDN'T HAVE TONSILS. In another case, our friend had been throwing up for three days and was unable to keep anything down. They asked her if she wanted an antacid.

College healthcare. Not worth a damn thing.

In other news, RADIOHEAD. New video for my favorite song off of In Rainbows.

hello my mind is not functioning at the correct speed at the moment thanks to being in Tokyo but however and here is one of my favourite video things that has ever happened for Reckoner it is, the result of somebody entering a competition to make an animation to one of the tunes on IN RAINbows. on aniboom. you can scroll down dead air space and find all about it.. but anyway

so we asked them whether it was ok to make it the official one we use as it goes with the song so well. they said yes.

and if you're like me and find it hard to find videos on televsion any more, or even turn on the television you can watch right here.

ok now im going to fold some clothes.

Thom

Check out this video: Radiohead - Reckoner - by Clement Picon



That Thom Yorke is a silly bitch.

Also, I found some other hilarity on the Intarwebs yesterday while I was moping around feeling sorry for my fail self and eating Wheat Thins (those fuckers are addictive, and they may help reduce the risk of heart disease, FUCK YEAH EVEN THOUGH THAT'S PROBABLY NOT TRUE).


The last one made me laugh so hard sent myself into a coughing fit and nearly vomited. I loved Pinky and the Brain during elementary school, and they were one of the best parts of the Animaniacs, which remains one of my favorite shows. But that's for another post.

And my last exciting news: I'm almost finished with my sweater! YAAAAYY! Except that I'm totally about to run out of yarn. Booooo. It's retarded too, because I only have 11 more rows to do. And I'm going to have to buy an entire skein for (my estimate) 6 rows. Shitsux.

Oh, and our school is having Rocktoberfest again this year. Last year they had illScarlett (whom I love dearly, and I got their autographs and photos taken with them. I also haven't listened to them in months. LOL), The Hint (cliche pop-rock, but not too bad, got pictures with the lead singer who looks freakishly like a friend of mine), and Plain White T's (who I liked before anyone else had heard of them, and then when I forgot about them they suddenly became famous). This year they have The Spill Canvas and The Cab, neither of whom I've heard of but I'm going anyway. The Spill Canvas sounds like it may be some whiny emo shit. Anyone heard of either band?

I'm going to go dance to The Who. Because I have nothing better to do at the moment. I haven't been in the mood for Persian War research, and I apologize.

Music that is severely underrated.

I was thinking about this topic earlier today when I was supposed to be reading Herodotus, and now that I need something to procrastinate from US labor history reading, I'm going to provide all 4 of my loyal readers with...


TINNERZ' ULTRA-AWESOME AND SOMEWHAT BAFFLING MUSIC LIST!!!!!!1!!1!!11
Anyway.

Blues Creation

70's Japanese hard blues rock? FUCK YEAH. This shit makes me dance like my inner whore. Besides, look at how fucking gnarly these dudes look. They could kick your ass and you'd be like, "Holy shit, I got my ass handed to me by some somewhat effeminate 70's Japanese blues rockers." And I have no idea what I'm talking about, so let's move on.

SOIL&"PIMP" SESSIONS

Sticking with Japan, we have these dudes. They're a jazz band. And they wail. One of their last.fm tags is "death jazz." Fuck yes. My fucking face melted the first time I heard them. Besides, when they have albums entitled "Pimpin" and "Pimp Master," you know you're in for some fucking awesome shit. And check out the cat in the middle. He's like an Asian Don Corleone. He'd wreck your shit.

The Black Keys

And now back to the grand ol' US of A. To Ohio, to be exact, where these two dudes are making the blues hot and spicy, Texas...no wait, I mean, Ohio style. At first I was like, "Wow, this black guy from the south is really good!" Then I realized it was two white guys from Ohio, and was even more impressed. I have serenaded my room mate more songs by The Black Keys than should ever be allowed. But that's what she gets for her goddamn Coldplay.

Portugal. The Man

HOLY GODDAMN I love me some P.TM. Every single album they've put out sounds different, but they still manage to be amazing. They can be all ambient and light, then sound slightly Motown-ish, then go electronic, then go folky AND IT ALL ROCKS MY FACE. It's like sex for the ears.

Free The Robots

Now I normally don't listen to rap or hip-hop. But this shit is good. The samples are amazing and totally unexpected. I swing dance to "Jazzhole" with my friends. It's so damn addictive and definitely gets my blood going. And because it's instrumental, I can study or read without stopping to sing along. I do, however, have to bust a move. Again, I apologize to my room mate.


Part 2 coming soon, as well as more Persian Wars battle history. It's time for work.

I rawk at MS Paint.

Okay, so it was actually Paint Shop Pro. Same damn thing though.




This is what reading nothing but shit about the Greco-Persian wars for about a month will do to you.

And I can't believe Smartie put them on Idletard. Though I do need to get ready for my exhibit at the Louvre.

"Pulling a Tina"

Last night I was re-introduced to an interesting phrase.

My good friend Christine came to me last night upset with her boyfriend and his insecurities. She had walked out of his room because he had ruined a perfectly good night with sudden moping. (And they say girls are the only ones with mood issues. Like HELL.) As this wasn't the first time it had happened, Christine just got sick of it and told him she was tired and going to bed. Instead she came to me and cried, upset with him.

When she felt better she felt proud of herself for "pulling a Tina," or standing up for herself. This isn't the first time I've heard this phrase, and it confuses me every time. How did I become associated with sticking up for oneself and not taking bullshit from other people?

So I was pondering this last night. I guess it all starts, as most things with me do, during senior year of high school when my mental and physical wellbeing were taking a nosedive. Being diagnosed with panic/anxiety disorder and having to go to therapy is really where I started to grow into who I am now. I'm glad I went through that hell, because it made me stronger as a person and I get way more respect for it now. Fuck the one or two people who think I'm a major bitch nowadays, because I'm actually happier and feeling better than I ever have before.

But being through all that bullshit really made me realize I have to look after myself first and foremost. Yeah, people used to love me before for being so selfless, so caring, so motherly, but doing that also made me ignore warning signs that I needed help. I was so busy trying to take care of everyone and make everyone else happy that I forgot about myself. And seriously, I don't ever want to do that again. If someone really needs it, like Christine last night, I'll help, but people have to be self-reliant as well. I push them in the right direction instead of trying to solve their problems for them, letting them figure out things themselves. I had to stop trying to live other peoples' lives for them, and enjoy my own. Selfishness is not entirely a bad thing.

It still disturbs me when people say they want to be just like me. I still kind of fail as a person, honestly. Aside from all the health issues, I'm pessimistic, bitter, foul-mouthed, psychotic, lazy, and occasionally mean. I can hardly stand myself sometimes, I don't want to be around other people just like me! I guess I have more good qualities than bad, but still. I'm far from the most outstanding role model one could chose.

So don't pull a Tina. Do whatever the fuck you have to do to take care of yourself. You can't make everyone happy, and you'll only destroy yourself if you try.

Bigfoot and other bullshit.

Bigfoot found?

LOL DOUBTFUL. From the Youtube videos of the press conference I've seen, they have some grainy images of something that looks like a Halloween costume. OH WOW! If these people had really found something, you'd think they'd take many more pictures and make sure they were of higher quality. Then again, these dudes seem to be some grade-A hicks, so who knows. And I could be wrong, it really could be bigfoot, and I'll own up to my mistake. But seriously, after all I've been through and seen of people through my worst of times, I've become ridiculously pessimistic and bitchy. So no bigfoot.

So this past weekend was my family reunion, mother's side. It was fun. I babysat infants and tiny dogs. LOL. I also had to watch my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's and can't be left alone anymore. It's so weird to see someone who was once so full of life and energy and love just sit around like an empty shell. My other grandmother had Alzheimer's as well before she died a few years back, and it's not as hard to say goodbye when they die as it normally is. The way I see it, with this disease, you're dead long before your heart stops beating. It sucks.

Work has been, well, busy. Luckily I get to stop before I go back, but my last day of work is my fucking birthday! WAT. And I don't feel like trying to get someone to switch shifts with me, so whatevs. It'll be my last day, so it won't be that bad. Next Sunday I get to go back to school, which I'm quite ecstatic for. My hometown sucks, and brings back memories I'd rather not remember. Which is why I'm moving to Boston when I get out of school. Just like the Augustana song.

I'm going to finish my knitting. I've got the back piece of my sweater done (FINALLY). Pictures soon. Right now I'm working on the left front piece which hopefully won't take too much longer. It's already going faster than the back. Thank God.

Later.

A pictoral adventure in knitting successes and epic failures

I, being the knitting fiend that I am, love trying some new things every once in a while. Sometimes these new endeavors turn out astoundingly awesome, boosting my ego to new heights, while other times...well...I'm reminded about how much fail still exists within me. Let's start with the good, shall we?

This of course isn't my first hat, but it is my first working from the top down. It was an easy knit too. I probably knocked this bitch out in a couple of days. You can't see it well in this picture, but it has a nice rib along the bottom that I quite like. Plus it fits snug (because I mean...it's a beanie) which I love. I'll definitely probably be using this pattern again, but hopefully using some different colors so I don't look like such a goth all the time. It's the one problem I have with my knitting: I'm always using dark colored yarn, which of course allows for more fuckuppery by me. The original pattern also had some stripes, but I wasn't feeling quite daring enough to attempt them. Onward...

Arm/wrist warmers. Yes, so I can be a scene kid when I'm not being goth. LOL. I'd always liked the look of these things, but I never found any that really fit my fancy. So when I found this pattern during the last few months of the last semester I knew I had make some. These were also very quick to make; I knocked out the long warmers in about 3 days, the shorter ones in about 2. The yarn is 100% wool so that shit is warm, much too warm to wear here in the summer but when fall and winter roll around you can bet I'll be rocking these bitches.

And now...all aboard the fail boat.

This is supposed to be the back section of a jacket/sweater I'm attempting. I had to convert the original pattern due to my needles and yarn choice, but sweet Jesus did I fuck that shit up. The thing that sucks the hardest is that I've ripped out and restarted this fucker at least 10 times by now. Which is why it is currently sitting on a pile of books and DVDs, looking sad and like a 5 year old with ADHD made it. I'm waiting until I can think clearly about it without wondering why I'm such a fuckhead. It's obvious it has something to do with my gauge conversions and my general knitting abilities. And I mean, look at the top part:

SRSLY WTF DID I DO? I must have forgotten to take my meds that day, or something. And I remember thinking, "Oh I'll just finish it, maybe it'll look right when I'm done." FALSE. It looks more retarded finished than it did while I was working. So soon I need to sit down and go over the original pattern and my converted pattern to figure out what I'm doing wrong. I think the main problem is that I have to do a shitton of math for it. And it's a well known fact that math and I just don't get along. I think I chose the wrong fucking hobby. LOL.

But see, the left front piece doesn't look as bad. The main problem I have with it is that it looks so damn small. I mean, I'm not a big girl, but I'm not anorexic either. Again, something with my math was way the hell off, causing everything to look either extremely retarded or as if it were made for someone half my size. This piece can probably easily be salvaged and fixed. Plus this would only be the third time redoing it, not the eleventh, and my patience hasn't completely worn out with it yet. YET.









And those are my current adventures. Hopefully, I'll get this shit worked out and I can say that I'm fabulous again.

All faith is gone in humanity.

Basically, over the past few months or so, my faith in humanity has declined at an astonishing rate. Finally, it hit rock bottom. In my eyes, humans officially suck. I include myself in this group, being human of course, and having severe moments of fucktardism. But Christ on a bike, I'm not the only one being a fuckup.

• Idletard.com: If you don't hate middle-aged American Idol fanatics who have long lost grip on reality already, you sure as hell will now.
• A girl (name withheld) with whom I used to be best friends with in elementary and middle school, sent me a Myspace message out of the blue to call me, among other things, a "butch dyke" because I had apparently said something not-so flattering about her. In all honesty, I don't even remember thinking about her since I left high school. So I figure, it's some shit from high school that this chick is bringing up. But no, I apparently said this about a month ago. I'm thinking, "Who the hell have I even talked to that she talks to? No one." So bitch is crazy. And I laugh. Yet I have to wonder, why is it that she was so bothered by the idea of me saying something when we haven't spoken to each other in years? Hell, if it'd been the other way around I probably would have forgotten it within the hour. I was done caring what other people thought or said about me quite some time ago. If you live life constantly concerned about what other people think of you and fighting unnecessary battles, you're never going to get anywhere in life.
• SecuROM. This shit royally fucked up my computer, part of the reason why I haven't been online as much. EA Games maintains that this shit isn't malware, yet TWO of my anti-malware programs caught it as a rootkit. Shit started screwing up my CD and DVD drives, my anti-virus, and even caused some memory leakage. Furthermore, Sony, the company who makes SecuROM, got into trouble a few years back because they were putting anti-piracy software that fucked up computers on music CDs. I had to send several CDs back to them so they could be replaced. So I've been buying EA's games, mostly Sim games, since the mid 90s and what I get for my years of support and money is a nearly ruined computer? Fuck you, Maxis. The bitch of it all is that SecuROM is hacked as easily as any other anti-piracy software, and with pirated games you don't get malware shit on your computer. So EA Games can suck my ass, I'm pirating games from now on. ARR.
• Youtube comments. Seriously, have you ever tried to read them? It's like jamming an icepick into your urethra whilst having lemon juice squeezed into your eyes. I've never seen such idiocy nor raping of the English language in one place. What is it about the Internet that turns so many people into total fucktards?
• This dumbass kid. Or, Darwinism at its finest. At 17 years old, he should've known better than to scale 2 safety fences for a fucking hat. The funniest part for me, morbidly of course, is the fact that my friends and I have an ongoing joke using the phrase, "Oops, I forgot my hat." This is said when we say goodbye, but are still present 5 minutes later and/or had to come back for some reason. Thus, when this first hit the press, my inbox was filled with links to the above and "FORGOT MY HAT." Morbid humor. Always grand.
• The fact that someone felt this needed to be studied. I hate the prejudice, racism, sexism and homophobia that still proliferates in the world. People are people, and when people get over petty differences and trying to label everyone things could be much better.

Rant over. I need to sleep.