Sims 3 Review

So, being a Sims fan since it first came out, I was pretty damned stoked for the third installment of the series. Okay, I was fucking ecstatic. When I sat down to play for the first time, I was giddy with joy and the excitement of something new. However, over time that has mellowed out to "meh" and in some cases, outright disgust. There are great new aspects, but the cost of new things seems to be some of the old that were loved by the gamers and part of the reason why so it grew so huge. Without further ado, the super awesome review.

The Good

• Seamless neighborhood. Seriously, anyone who doesn't like this is a fucking fool. Those goddamn loading screens everytime I wanted to go to the park...grr.
• Traits. I enjoy my excitable, kleptomaniac, inappropriate, friendly vegetarian.
• SOME customization. You can change the Sims' voices, and create a style for interior decorating has killed many hours for me. I'll explain why I say "some" later.
  
• Some cool graphic effects. The light changes gradually throughout the day, instead of "Hey, it's 6 PM! BAM PITCH BLACK OUTSIDE." Also, plants move and sway, and according to some people you can see birds, but I'm not that observant and/or my comp sucks too bad for that.
• Moodlets. Again, just adds a sense of realism. Watching a good movie does make you happier, for at least a while.
• Jobs. I like the opportunities, or little projects that your sim can accomplish outside of work like reading a book, giving a speech, or delivering something to city hall. They boost job performance. While working, you can also choose how your sim spends their time. They can meet their coworkers, hang out and socialize, work hard, or slack off. Pretty nice.

The Bad

• Hardly any base game items. The ones that they have either don't look good or are obvious rehashes of those in Sims 2. But the obvious reason for this will be discussed later.
  
• No Body Shop. Yeah, you can't make your own clothes, hair, skintone, eyes, etc. without going in some roundabout way. Excuse me if I'm wrong, but I thought that was the reason why Sims 2 did so well--the vast options to customize our pixel people. But that just gets ripped away.
• Round pudding faces. Everyone has the same damn facial structure and double chins, even if they're the thinnest sims you can make. I readily acknowledge, however, that this may just be because I'm so used to Sims "You can make the eyes bigger than your goddamn head" 2 and I'll get used to it.
• Motive system seems off. While Sims sleep for fucking ever and are hungry all the goddamn time, I've only had to tell mine to pee twice. Um...if that happens to someone in real life they should probably see a doctor/drink way more water.
• Ridiculous behavior at times. After Woo-hoo (sex) they just go back to their "relaxing position" (stretched out on the bed with their arms folded over their torsos calmly) and chat. At least in Sims 2 they cuddled, and in some instances congratulated their partner (I'm not kidding). When feeding babies or toddlers, the bottle is pulled out of thin air, and when finished, vaporizes again. Also, all it takes to change a diaper is to toss the child up in the air spinning like a fucking top and they are instantly clean. I WISH THIS SHIT WERE POSSIBLE IN REAL LIFE. But since it's not, and this game prides itself on realism, and the other two were more realistic in this aspect, I don't understand why it would be so hard to put it in this game. Again, I readily accept that this is just something I'm being picky about and may get used to.
• Community lots. All of them, save for parks, are "rabbit holes" (meaning you can't actually see the interior. This makes since for workplaces and schools, but restaurants and stores? Honestly? Part of the fun of them was seeing your other Sims dining or shopping and having them interact together. I guess this means no hilarious shenanigans at nightclubs anymore, either.
• It's a whole different game. Fuck all this "it's simply a more realistic Sims 2!" Most of the features from Sims 2 ( and by that I mean "all of the good ones") are gone. It plays nothing like it. Playing feels like playing a game that was meant to be on a console ported to PC.
  

The What the Fuck, EA?

• Only one neighborhood and no option to make your own. In Sims 2 I never played the pre-made 'hoods except when I was learning how to play and trying out the new features. Why? Because I like creating ridiculous neighborhoods filled with mentally unstable pixel people and seeing the binary sparks fly. Shit is awesome. Plus I hate pre-existing storylines. I want my Sims to be the most ridiculous soap opera ever. Like Twilight but without all the suck and fail.
• Storytelling mode. This is the thing that has made me rage the hardest. In previous Sims games, you played one family at a time and all the other families were stuck in time, or limbo you might say. You would go back to them later and they'd be doing the exact same things as when you left. Now, however, they all continue living. Meaning they'll grow up, die, get jobs, meet new people, fall in love, wed, AND EVEN FUCKING MOVE OUT when you're not paying attention. No, seriously. I started a nice, charming little family and moved them into a house. After getting them accustomed I switched to another house. The Sim there was reading a newspaper that popped up saying that the other family had moved away. I went to view the neighborhood, and sure enough, the family's house was now occupied by a random family that I did not create nor put there. Needless to say, I was pretty fucking livid. If I create a damn family it's because I want to play them, fuckers. Further, I've also left a sim in a nice, stable spot, and returned later to find her pregnant and nearly broke. She'd apparently gotten knocked up some random townie and went on a book shopping spree.
• The Sims 3 Store. This is just fucking hateful, and what I think is clearly the reason why there's hardly any objects in this thing. They want you to pay more money for their crap! Yes, in this economy with a nearly 10% unemployment rate in this country, they expect you to pay $20 for a fucking binary code furniture set that still looks like shit, on top of a $50 base game. YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME, EA. How fucking greedy are you shitheads? Not to mention a high number of Sims players are teens and young adults, meaning we don't have that much money to spend. We got you to the point where you can boast that you have the highest selling video game. You should be paying us, because without us you'd still be making Sim Ant or whatever the fuck, you fucking twats.

Going off of that last statement, I think EA is just treating their customers like shit in general. When they started putting SecuRom on their disks, which is a copy-protection program that has been sued numerous times for being potentially harmful malware, they tried to silence anyone who lodged a complaint on their forum. They had also started the Sims store shit then, which was not popular, especially since regular players always had better looking stuff, and for free. So it seems like they're trying to force it by making customization much harder and not putting a lot of material in there. And I understand it's a business and they want a profit, but dammit, they've never had a problem before and they seemed to be doing as well as ever before they started this. After...I don't know.

I know I'm not the only person pretty disappointed. Just taking a cursory glance at some forums I see that many people have the same complaints. Many more people are just not buying it. EA clearly didn't understand the concept of "ain't broke, don't fix it." I think I'm going back to Sims 2.